Okay, okay... No more hitting on Billy Crystal. Let's talk about the real reason you are even reading this post.
As little Greg of Curb Your Enthusiasm would say...
We begin this journey with my picks for best dressed [in no particular order as to not cause conflict with those who are more sensitive than others... I'm a cancer, I get it!]
Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton
Jewels & Brooch [Fred Leighton] Clutch [Bottega Veneta]
Michelle Williams is breathtaking in this coral Louis Vuitton peplum dress. Yes, this dress is coral. Unfortunately the camera did not read the color very well. Before I realized it was coral I was a bit thrown off by her choice in clutch. But it all makes sense now and I love it!!! The brooch and necklace [along with the clutch] were the perfect choice in accessories. Did you notice how the dress flowed in the wind on the red carpet? Perfection!!
Rooney Mara in Givenchy
A love not to Rooney
Oh Rooney... I love you. I love that you don't seem to care & I love that you are not wearing jewelry. How does one who does not care always do it so right? This Givenchy dress is sensational on her. She is so striking that the no jewelry thing kind of works. If someone else were to try this I believe they would fail. The fact that she always goes architectural in her choices makes me love her even more.
Have I told you that I love her??
Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli Haute Couture
Clutch & Jewelry [Louis Vuitton] Shoes [Brian Atwood]
This girl has it all, looks, style & personality! This dress was fabulous on her! My favorite part [besides the unbelievable gorgeous shade of red] has to be the tie neck. This dress screams old hollywood glamour. And her Louis Vuitton clutch & bracelet... HELLO! Amazing.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford
Not only is Tom Ford the sexiest [unfortunately gay] man, but he sure knows how to design a dress. This dress is stunning on Gwenyth. I am absolutely crazy about the cape. So simple, yet completely different. Oh and did you get a look at that bracelet? It's pretty major. The only thing I was not crazy about is the fact that she removed the cape to present. I wish she would have kept it on. What a statement!
Angelina Jolie [and her leg] in Atelier Versace
Jewels [Neil Lane] Shoe [Salvatore Ferragamo]
Angelina, thank you so much for bringing you extremely toned & lean leg as your Oscar date. This very leg had made me want to starve myself & go to the gym 5 hours every day. But on a serious note... This dress was incredible! The fact that it was velvet made it what it is. The structure is va va voom sexy. [I'd totally do her] Okay, one more leg comment... What is up with her stance? The best thing to come out of said stance is the twitter handle @AngiesRightLeg
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji
Jewels [Neil Lane] Shoes [Jimmy Choo] Clutch [Judith Leiber]
This ladies & gentleman is how a woman with curves should dress! Once again in Tadashi Shoji, Octavia KILLED IT! Real women everywhere should be thanking her for setting such a fabulous example. Octavia Spencer, you nailed it AGAIN!
Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen
Jewels [Harry Winston] Shoes [Brian Atwood]
I first need to start off by saying: HALLELUJAH!!! Jessica, I have been rooting for you this award season and you have disappointed me thus far. But then you show up looking like this and totally redeem yourself! You have done Alexander McQueen well. And your hair looks amazing. Two thumbs up!!!!
Bérénice Beju in Elie Saab
I feel as thought Bérénice got mixed reviews in this dress. I absolutely loved it. The color is so minty fresh, she probably reeked of mint when she walked by. This was a great choice for her. What a beautiful and talented woman. LOVE!!
And now for the not so fortunate....
Natalie Portman in Vintage Haute Couture Christian Dior
It pains me to say this, but Natalie... I am not digging this. I think you should have worn the necklace and nothing else. Something about this dress just completely threw me off.
Stacy Keibler in Marchesa
Jewels [Lorraine Schwartz] Shoes [Rene Caovilla] Clutch [Judith Leiber]
Oh Stacy... When George invited you to come as his date to the Oscars he didn't mean for you to dress up as one. Don't get me wrong. I love Marchesa and I think this dress is gorgeous, but I don't like it on her and I don't like it for the Oscars. But hey... George may not have won an Oscar, but he still went home with one!
Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture
I wanted so bad to love this dress, but I couldn't. I am just not feeling it on Shailene. I think it's time to get a new stylist. Thoughts?
Side-note: We are all friends here. These are merely my opinions and you are all entitled to your own. Thank you and goodnight!
Photo credit: People.com