
Thank you, Ellen Degeneres, for making the 2014 Oscars the first award show in history that kept me from dozing off at 10:45pm. The night was an absolute success. Now if someone can do me a favor and photoshop me into the selfie above, I will love you forever!
Okay, so let's talk fashion. For once, I am keeping my Oscars best dressed list short & sweet. You're welcome!
Here are more four favorite looks of the night in order of fabulous to fabulous.
1. Lupita Nyong'o in Prada: Thanks to Lupita, we are now all going bat shit crazy for "Nairobi Blue." This girl is the real deal on screen & on the red carpet. And let's not forget her speech. She is so eloquently spoken. A true inspirtaion! She has made the impossible possible by proving she can wear every color of the rainbow flawlessly. While saving the best for last, of course! Lupita looks like a Nairobian Cinderella! She may be the only person in history that can pull off an extreme plunging neckline without looking like a whore. And let's not forget the exquisite Fred Leighton jewels & headband. I think headband stocks just skyrocketed.

2. Kate Hudson in Atelier Versace: She may not have been up for an award, but holy hell did she look like a winner! This dress is old Hollywood glamour at it's best. The silhouette, the beading, the CAPE! I now want to wear a cape with everything! Even my pajamas. This may be the best she has ever looked by far. Bravo!

3. Cate Blanchett in Armani Prive: Now what is a best dressed list without Cate Blanchett? It wasn't until Cate won Best Actress for "Blue Jasmine" that I was able to see the incredible dégradé sequins and light gold Swarovski crystal baguette detailing of this Armani Prive gown. This gown belongs in a freakin' museum! She is an absolute vision. I always admire her adventurous red carpet fashion.
4. Olivia Wilde in Valentino: Can I please start by pointing out that this bitch is 7 months pregnant! 7 months freakin' pregnant!!! I am just about 4.5 months along and I feel like heifer and a half! This Valentino dress is perfectly tailored to skim over that adorable little baby bump she's been sporting. This black column dress may look super simple from the front, but the back is anything but! The bow behind the neck and white detail down the back adds an unexpected touch of edge that is to die for. I will be praying to the baby gods above every night from now on that I look even a fraction as good as Olivia when I hit the 7 month mark.
-----
Now let's talk awards!
For those of you, who are like me, and actually give a shit about the awards...
Here is a full list of last night's Oscar winners (with some mild commentary)!
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
AWESOME
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
The Great Gatsby
AWESOME
BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
Dallas Buyers Club
AWESOME
BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Mr. Hublot
INDIFFERENT
BEST ANIMATED FILM
Frozen
AWESOME
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Gravity
MEH
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
Helium
INDIFFERENT
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
INDIFFERENT
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
20 Feet From Stardom
INDIFFERENT
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Great Beauty
INDIFFERENT
BEST SOUND MIXING
Gravity
MEH
BEST SOUND EDITING
Gravity
MEH
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)
DOUBLE AWESOME
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Gravity
MEH
BEST FILM EDITING
Gravity
MEH
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
The Great Gatsby
AWESOME
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Gravity
MEH
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
“Let It Go”/Frozen
DOUBLE AWESOME
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
12 Years a Slave
AWESOME
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Her
MEH
BEST DIRECTOR
Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity)
MEH
BEST ACTRESS
Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
DOUBLE AWESOME
BEST ACTOR
Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!
BEST PICTURE
12 Years a Slave
AWESOME
-----And now, I leave you with this!

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